It is true that if you are feeling anxious about a negotiation you are unlikely to achieve your best outcome. Our behaviours are the product of our internal “state” of mind. This state of mind is usually the result of pre-programmed filters which determine how we experience the world. We know for example that if a fire is coming towards us then that represents danger and we should run away. If someone extends their hand by way of greeting we know we should reciprocate in order to shake hands.
These filters can be very helpful, as in the above examples, but they are also capable of giving us a distorted vision of reality which is not helpful at all. So, if we are running a programme which tells us that “negotiation is always difficult and I always do badly. I want it to be over as soon as possible”, then that anxious state will create problems for us. Our bidding will be tentative, our manner uncertain, we may stammer and sweat. The other side will pick up this “anxious” state (consciously or otherwise) and start to push us around. It’s all downhill from there.
If there is a “Nervous Nellie”, as the third article here puts it (knowledge@wharton) in the team then that can affect the attitude of everybody in the team. It depends who has the strongest state. If the Nervous Nellie has the strongest state then they will influence everyone around them. So it’s important to pair such people with those who have a stronger, more assured state of mind…
The good thing is that we can choose to change our state. This is because the brain doesn’t recognise the difference between a “real” programme and one which we have created. So, if we choose to run a programme which says “negotiation is fun, I am well-prepared and I could end up with more than I expected”, then that changes our state. Our outlook then becomes much more positive and we are much more likely to succeed in the negotiation. So this kind of “re-framing” of our attitude is the way to go if we are “nervous nellies”…
Most errors committed during the negotiations reflects a failure training. These errors can be eliminated or largely reduced, drawing attention to the training proper negotiations. Training is long and often complex negotiations. For simplicity, it is recommended to draw special attention to the following five factors:
Assessing own positions.
Assessing partner position.
Competition Assessment.
Assessment limits negotiable.
Strategies and tactics.
These five points are important in the period earlier negociations.Unpreparing one of these five points can lead to less satisfactory results. Remember the advice of experienced negotiators, “Do not negotiate if you are not ready.” Poor preparation attract anxiety.
Yes I would agree that these factors can cause anxiety if not handled properly. Some people also just get themselves into an anxious state when they are negotiating – perhaps through previous failures. If they feel they might fail they become anxious about it and that anxiety leaks in their behaviour…