These days negotiation is often done by phone or on email. However, Negotiation is much easier face to face than when it is done remotely. Face to face you have much more data about how someone looks, feels and sounds. You have the body language and the tone of their voice and nuances in what they say which are impossible to pick up from an email.
Email also has other disadvantages. It is very black and white- but negotiations often need a little ambiguity as the participants explore a solution. Because of its permanent nature and the fact that it is in written form, e-mail is often “received” at a higher volume than it is intended to be sent. So people can get upset reading it in a way that the sender might not have intended. At the same time people often hide behind emails to make a statement or strike a pose in a way that they would never do face to face, so this is another reason why email negotiation can raise the temperature. Finally, if people are negotiating in their second language email can create misunderstandings. It’s normally easier to understand the spoken word in a foreign language than it is to read or write it.
So, if you are contemplating an email negotiation or one is going wrong here are some tips:
- Try and negotiate face to face, at least part of the time, if you can. If you can’t then video conferencing is okay as at least you can see the other person. Phone calls are the next best option as at least you can hear the other person’s voice. Email is the least preferred option but if you have to do it then;
- Try to personalise the conversation in some way. Send a photo of your holiday or find out what your correspondent likes doing outside of work.
- Don’t allow the matter-of-fact nature of email to restrict you to discussing only positional issues like price or delivery date or quantity. Ask questions to understand the real motivations of the person you are dealing with – this will give you more options for sorting a deal out and avoid you getting trapped in negotiating positional issues where there can only be one winner.
- Don’t say things in an email that you wouldn’t be prepared to say to someone face to face. Imagine you were on the receiving end of your own email. If it would annoy you, it will annoy them.
- Look for clues in the language people use. You may not be able to see them face to face but you can pick up a lot about their mood and motivations from the way they use adjectives, verbs and pronouns.
